Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
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