Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Drunk walkin through police station. America
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
