You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
