Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Randomize
