Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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