wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
