So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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