I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
