FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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