No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
