grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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