Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
