Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
