so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
