gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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