My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
All I want is dick and wine.
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