Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
