she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
