i don't plan on having that self control this summer
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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