dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
