If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
