Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Randomize
