Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
