DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
