You work out of a Hotel?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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