I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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