That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
