Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
