those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
