ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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