their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
