I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
