i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Michael Bay diarrhea
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Randomize
