i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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