I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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