Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
