he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
