her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
then he tried to convert me to islam
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
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