so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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