so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
