i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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