She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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