every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
