The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
