yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
