just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
