it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
