One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
she peed on how many people?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
