The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
