you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
