I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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