I got chris browned last night
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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