Are we in a gay sports bar?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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